Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
