So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize