ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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