just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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