okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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