also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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