I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
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i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
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possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out