Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS