Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome