I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.