Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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