So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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