I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
