The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES