Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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