You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Naked Twister starts at high noon
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
