no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
