maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize