Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize