sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
