i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
