Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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