Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize