The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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