he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
