The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize