sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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