When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right