i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
i think my cat just said my name.