Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.