I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD