is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol