You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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