I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
my being single is dangerous.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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