i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
