So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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