Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize