There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You can't motorboat a personality
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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