Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize