So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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