Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I believe in your delicious
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize