your parents love me but you hate me
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
