Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
