Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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