if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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