Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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