Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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