Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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