Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
