Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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