My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize