Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Randomize
