Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I need to sanitize my soul.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize