and you said cock pushups were impossible
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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