No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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