You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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