The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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